Of being swallowed into the night

street light
Polysynthesism

I fantasise myself being swallowed into the night.

Walking in the direction of the sun disappearing, and there is no more light to stream the warmth through. The street lamp will start to show itself, the orange standing tall in the night, noble and almost human. I stand under the street light alone. There is no movement, even the wind decided to leave and there, you see it, you feel it, being swallowed into the night, it is oblivion and there is no way back. I’ve forgotten which way I came from.

I stand there for some time and decide to walk along the lamp because I am already lost, but scared to really lose myself to the night. There will be an end to this street, of course I know. It will either hit intersection with the bigger street, it will come to an abrupt stop, or it will just fade away. I don’t mind though, as long as there is another source of light to walk with, until I am really ready to let myself go.

There is a bus stop. Intensely bright and I don’t want to see it. People waiting under that brightness is too real for me to step into. I am not bright enough but not dark enough, I am standing nowhere, always in-between the worlds, I am those who fill up the space of nothingness, not even a bridge or an existence but a being, trying not to walk into either of the world.

I am still dreaming about dissolving, being swallowed into the night.
I hope it comes true someday.

 

mugiho

 

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